Simply the...

Gratuitous Brest shot.

Having beaten St. Etienne 2-0 on Saturday, newbies Brest are top of Ligue 1. This is cause for mild celebration among neutrals - and delighted jigs among amateur gagmen writing in English about football in France (we're a small but proud community). I've been unable to prevent my busy journalistic/perverted subconscious from composing Bre(a)st related tabloid headlines to describe the team's success. It's been happening frequently and always at the most inconvenient moments, so what follows is an attempt to purge myself of the problem.

• Perky Brest smother Stéphanois threat
• What a pair! Brest 2-0 St. Etienne
• St. Etienne disappointed at failure to get to grips with Brest
• Brest silence knockers
• Brest nip ahead of Rennes
• Bust up in Ligue 1
• Support lifts Brest
• Timely substitution lifts Brest
• Brest milk it as league leaders
• Brest bazooka opposition
• Brest: a two point cushion at the top
• Brest two points in front
• Brest a handful upfront
• France's top side bra none
• Do Brest have the legs?
• Rivals plan to expose Brest

I think I'm cured...