The Stéphane Guivarc'h Anthology

Our hero today: a match analyst and... swimming pool sales rep. Honestly.

Ode to a Young Stéphane Guivarc'h

An inauspicious start at Brest,

One goal in six matches he hit,

Relegation promptly followed,

And Brest sold the lousy tit.

Ode to Stéphane Guivarc'h I

Frogs were flavour of the month,

When he became a Magpie,

But how he made the Mack'ems crow,

And the Geordie faithful sigh.

Ode to Stéphane Guivarc'h II

A short but sour British sojourn,

From St. James's to Ibrox,

Malchance would not cease to hunt,

This poxy fox in the box.

Ode to Stéphane Guivarc'h III

At Auxerre fate shone on a number 9,

Who played number 2 on the Toon,

And was reckoned by the Daily Mail,

To be a proper goon.

Requiem for Stéphane Guivarc'h

Marseillaise faded into Last Post,

As time had its inarguable say,

"Send him to wor knackers yard!" they screamed,

They didn't know the donkey could play.